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”She conquered her own world”

It is Wednesday and that means I will do as I promised Here and write a blog for you guys.
I did not have much inspiration myself so I went to the Daily Post site to see what the one-word daily prompt was and today it was the word ‘gray’ (or ‘grey’. That depends on whether you’re American or British I believe)

This morning I woke up, not feeling great. I struggle with various mental problems and some days I wake up feeling like the happiest person in the world and the other day I feel like I don’t deserve to live anymore. Today is towards the latter one. It is one of those days where I wake up and do not want to eat, talk, draw…basically I just want to sit and cry my eyes out because of this heavy, sad feeling in my whole body. I think today’s one-word prompt really suits my feeling.
Unfortunately, it is one of those ” down days ” as I call them and I am not able to see and count my blessings today, I don’t feel confident even though I know that I am a smart, talented, beautiful young lady who has a lot of privileges other people do not have.

I feel gray.

That does not mean that I will just actually go sit down and bawl my eyes out.
No.
I got up, showered, made some coffee for my mum and got dressed. I even put on some make-up because I’ve got a visitor today.
My mental issues don’t define me. My mental issue(s) don’t get to decide who I am.
I will not let that feeling get me down.
And here I am, writing this story. For me, that in itself is already quite  the victory because it means that I am stronger than that little voice in my head telling me that I am not good enough. I will go about my day and do the things the little demon inside me tells me I am not good enough to do to prove her wrong.

I conquer my world.

What I really want you to know is that I hope that you also find the strength to get up every day, no matter how hard it is. And even when you don’t: it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to stay in bed and it is okay to bawl your eyes out for no other reason than just that damned feeling you woke up with. Even I have those kind of days.
And that’s okay.
Just know that there is sunshine behind the dark clouds and that things will get better. Put work into your own self and you will definitely reap what you have sown. For some that will take a week, for others a month or even a few years. Everyone has their own pace and everyone walks their own ways in their own way. Let no one tell you otherwise.

You are loved, amazing, beautiful. You are okay. Be who you want to be and chase your dreams.
And the most important thing of all: You are not alone.

Have you struggled with mental issues? Or are you still struggling with them? Let me know! Maybe I can help you with a few kind words. I would love to because that is actually what I hope to do with this blog: Make people feel a bit better.

You can follow me on social media for more happy things!

Hopefully you have a nice day, thank you for reading this post~
Let me know down below what you think. I really appreciate feedback so I can become a better blogger.

Lots of Love,

SweetHandlettering

 

10 thoughts on “”She conquered her own world”

    1. Makes me happy to hear that you liked to read about this.
      It also makes me very happy to hear that you are fine again. You’re a strong person for overcoming your mental illness!
      Have a wonderful day

      Like

  1. I hope you are feeling better today, if not keep up what you are doing, if you can. Getting up and about does help, even if just a bit. I understand depression well. I have bipolar disorder. It will pass. I’m glad you recognize what a wonderful woman you are. That will not change. Ever.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. It made me tear up a little bit because today has been such a struggle and the day is not even over yet. At breaking point, when I was walking home from the grocery store some guys thought they were funny and threw an egg at me out of a driving car, while filming it, for no reason.Luckily it just missed me but it did startle me so much that I started crying and I felt really embarassed. I felt like such a disappointment and it has been really hard to keep my head up now. But I did it. I am cooking right now and that is a really hard thing to do because I have also got problems with eating. Thank you for reading my story and thank you for the kind words. They really felt like a getting a hug

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s horrible what those guys did. Just realize they don’t think properly when they do such things. I know it must have been extra hard for you to have to experience on a day like today.

        I’m going to my psychiatrist in a few minutes. I’ve been depressed myself. But writing here and interacting with the great people on WordPress does lift my mood a bit. (((Hugs)))

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeh it certainly does! And I am going to report to the police because those boys have also threw a can of beer at my sister once.
        Good luck today! You can do it 🙂 you already helped someone today

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I generally refer to this feeling in my life as melancholy, and there are definitely days where I wake up with it. That said, commitments are a great motivator. Five days a week I either go to school or work, depending on the time of year. I mean it’s not fun to drag myself through the day but, when I know others are counting on me taking that first step out the door becomes just a little bit easier. This year I’ve found this getting more difficult at times, but I’m on the search for solutions (and writing about it along the way a bit now, in order to make sure I take a bit of time to reflect). If you have a minute, and the interest, check out my post Final Destinations. It touches on a few things I’ve been working on in the last year to keep myself from being a grumpy, melancholy person. (Also, I looooove your lettering! I have a whole pinterest board dedicated to lettering and line art that is just littered with all the things I haven’t tried in that area :P).

    Liked by 1 person

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