about SweetHandlettering · blog · Enthousiasm · music · one word prompt

I’m Simply one Hell of a~

Has anyone ever heard of the manga series Black Butler?
No?
That’s a pity! Go watch it because it has also got made into an anime!
If you do I’m sure you know how to finish the sentence in the title.  he he he.

Because After all, I Simply love Black Butler.
I’ve not read manga, watched anime, drawn any manga myself for a few years and I still cannot understand why I ever let that part of who I was, go.
I enjoyed cosplaying, roleplaying, the friends I made in that community and I simply loved being able to escape into another world for a while. Drawing has always made me feel free somehow. It made me feel empowered because I could exactly show how I felt by swirling my pencil around, not caring if the drawing was good or not. (well, of course I cared if it was good but yeah, being good is not everything.)
Now, if anyone asked my: But, why would you ever stop doing it then?!
Well, my parents discouraged me a little bit, I am sure they never meant to make me feel that way. They said that cosplay was for little kids and that I should grow up. It made me feel ashamed of what I enjoyed doing.
And I guess also because my boyfriend did it, without realising it, at the time he did not show any support. I asked him several times if he would like to come along with me to a meeting but he was always busy and whenever I would fangirl about something he never showed any interest in it. Which made me feel like I was being stupid, ridiculous and childish.
I think these are the two main reasons I left all the anime, manga, kpop and cosplaying behind.
I’m not angry at them whatsoever because it also taught me a great deal. it taught me to never let go of anything you truly love to do and enjoy. Do more of what makes you happy, not the people around you.

Now, I know they never told me directly that it was embarrassing and stupid, but still. I was so insecure and anxious at the time that even when someone was paying attention to what I said would make me feel ashamed of the things I like, because it felt as if is was something not worth talking about. Not that everyone always has to losten to whaf I say, but an occasional ear to just hear me blabbering about something I was passionate about would have made a great deal. Even though they were my interests and it was what made me happy. It was what kept me going.

But, slow and steady this is all coming back. I am re-reading my Black Butler volumes and I’m having the best time ever!
Hopefully I’ll make new cosplay friends soon or maybe I’ll hit up some old friends. Hopefully they still remember me!

I used to cosplay Sebastian Michaelis, the Phantomhive demon-butler from Black Butler and man I was good at it! I enjoyed it so damn friggin’ much!
The header picture is me in my cosplay and my mother sewed (or is it sowed? tell me…)it herself!!!
Damn I’m feeling so proud right now!

Have you maybe got some animes for me to watch? Soon it’ll be summer break and I’d love to watch something new.

Lots of Love,

Sebasti-

uhm…SweetHandlettering

🙂

~music corner
Since I talked about Black butler today, It though I’d show you the intro song!

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4 thoughts on “I’m Simply one Hell of a~

  1. Does your website have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email. I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

    Like

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