blog · music · one word prompt

Chaos…?

Well, hello there! Yes, you there… I just wanted to say: Have a nice day and you’re awesome.

I just sat here thinking of how many people actually still wish each other a nice day when you walk past them or just simply say ”hi”. Not a lot I can tell you. We are all occupied with our phones and with our earplugs or headphones playing music.
Not that that’s a bad thing, because for some people that music is a life-saver.
Which brings me to the thing I really wanted to talk about today: Hypersensitivity and ADD

As you might know I suffer from an anxiety disorder and because of that also depression. I think I have pretty much had this my whole life since I cannot remember otherwise than things always scaring me a lot more than it would scare others. I would always get scared and then people would tell me that I am overreacting.

Now what is hypersensitivity? It basically means that things like loud sounds physically hurt your ears and head more than it does other people. That people around you can ‘suck away’ your energy without even knowing simply because they sitting next to you. I do not like it when someone touches me without my approval, which is also part of that.

I also mentioned ADD. A lot of you might be wondering what that is since a lot of people know its counterpart ADHD. Basically, ADD is in your head while ADHD is also physical. Someone with ADHD is always moving, cannot sit still. People with ADD are just as busy, but then just inside their head. My thoughts move 100 times faster than normal people’s thoughts. (though this can vary too). Things like drawing while listening to a lecture, or crocheting while watching a movie actually help me to focus. They distract my mind just enough to help the rest of my mind focus on my task or movie or whatever. I al-ways cycle with my earplugs in and music playing, simply because the sound of traffic makes me go crazy and makes me unable to focus. So the music basically makes me safer while on my bike. It helps me focus.

Last week I wrote about my depressed feelings and after that, I decided that it had been enough. I needed help. But since I have been to a few psychologists and I can tell you that it does not work for me. I am not saying that they did not listen to me or that they did not try to help me, but the help they were able to offer just did not do the trick for me. After I told my mother about how I’d been feeling for the past two weeks and that I needed help but did not want to see a psychologist again, she gave me the phone number of a coach a friend of hers went to.
I googled her and read on her website that she specializes in people who have dyslexia and disorder like ADD and hypersensitivity. Since I have been thinking that I have both ADD and HPS I wanted to give it a try and I sent her an email to make an appointment.

Last Friday I went to this coach’s house/practise and we talked a lot about how I feel and what she could do for me. The most striking thing for me was that she said: ”Oh the minute you started talking my thoughts went to HPS and perhaps even ADD, or both.”
She gave me some examples from things that people with hypersensitivity experience, that ‘normal’ people do not.  I recognised all of them.
It felt like such a big relieve that someone finally understood me. Someone finally understood the chaos I feel. It felt so awesome that someone finally told me that I am not overreacting.

If one thing does not work for you, then continue your quest for help. Maybe a psychologist is nothing for you and no it won’t work for everyone. Maybe you need help in another form. Maybe you need someone particular who will help you cope with nest of chaos in your head like this new woman is going to do for me.
Help is out there 🙂 and it is okay to say ” no this isn’t it” if it does not work. That’s okay. Just remember that you do not give up. Just quest on!

If anything I said is not right, correct me if I am wrong. I am just staring my journey on HPS and ADD and I have a lot ot learn!

Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to check out my social media pages, that would make me very happy.

Lots of love,

Sweethandlettering.

P.S.: If you haven’t seen Thor: Ragnarok yet I DEFINITELY advise you to go! The movie is brilliant. I have seen it twice now and I love it so much. Especially Loki. But shh. Tell me, are you team Thor or team Loki?!

~music corner~
This song might seem childish, but it actually helps me remember that things go wrong sometimes and that you just have to get up and try again!

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4 thoughts on “Chaos…?

    1. Thank you for your comment! It also makes me feel like I really reach people with my words and that I do not just write them for me but I actually reach people. Hopfully all is well with your son! Hypersensitivity can be so exhausting at times.

      Like

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